Mental tools to Help you Succeed on the ice: Cognitive Distortions

" you know the old saying, the guy that thinks he can and the guy who thinks he can't, they are both right!"

Our friend at Warrior Mind Training, Gregg Swanson, sends me a weekly newsletter which offers tools to help get mental obstacles out of the way to help us succeed at what we are doing. At the Tiger Paw Elite Summer Hockey School, we receive students from all over and this year we will have a student from Turks and Caicos so the word of the camp is spreading internationally.

Some of these students come with past experiences that suggest that they are not as strong hockey players as others because they have gone through try out processes or were part of teams where they felt their roles were les significant than their team mates and they start believing this...while we see a player that requires further development...

All that to say, this piece on Cognitive Distortions really applies here to these players...and I am posting this because it will be a topic that we cover in our Championship Habits this summer.

So, what are Cognitive Distortions and why should you care?

Cognitive Distortions are where we focus on particular aspects of an experience (often the 'negative' ones) and ignore or discount other aspects - thereby "distorting" our view of the world.

People are usually unaware of how they distort their experience with the words they use. Cognitive Distortions not only limit our choices, but can lead to unnecessary suffering - and sometimes even make a situation worse when we act on incorrect assumptions.

As a component to developing mental strength, Cognitive Distortions are a great opportunity to raise our awareness and challenge our limiting thought processes, allowing us to dig into the limiting beliefs we have about ourselves, others and the world.

Why do we "distort" our experience? Well, it's often (but not always) unconscious. When we use words to attempt to convey the richness of our experience and thoughts, information gets "lost in translation." A limited range of words can only attempt to describe the infinite possibilities of our experience. There are also two other major ways we lose the richness of our experience - "Generalizing" and "Deleting" information - which we will talk about separately.

Here is a brief list of the 10 Most Common Cognitive Distortions:

• All or Nothing Thinking - also known as black or white thinking.
• Over-generalization - viewing a single negative experience as a never-ending pattern of defeat.
• Minimizing or Magnifying (also Catastrophizing) - Playing up or playing down one particular aspect of an experience to our own detriment.
• Using "Shoulds", "Musts", "Ought tos" - Criticizing ourselves or others and then feeling guilt (or anger/frustration)
• Labelling (or Mislabeling) - Turning a single experience into a sweeping judgment, "He's a jerk", "I'm a failure"
• Jumping to conclusions - Making assumptions with little evidence to back it up.
• Mind-Reading - making assumptions about what others are thinking
• Fortune Telling - making assumptions about what the future holds
• Discounting the positive - Anyone could have done it, or it doesn't count...
• Blame and Personalization - Over-blaming ourselves, or blaming others and denying our role in a situation
• Emotional Reasoning - I feel something, so it must be true
• Mental Filter - Dwelling on one small thing and allowing that to spoil our experience

Check out the *FREE* Cognitive Distortions List Tool for a handy reference list of the 10 Most Common Cognitive Distortions. This mental strength tool comes complete with helpful descriptions and examples of how they are used!

Why Black or White Thinking May be Keeping Keep You Stuck!

'Black or White' or 'All or Nothing' thinking is one of the commonest issues I see with my coaching clients. When a client is stuck - it's often because they are looking at the world through this Black or White thinking filter - called a Cognitive Distortion.

So, the big problem with Black or White thinking is that it forces a 'Grey' world full of possibilities, options and ideas into just two choices - 'my way or the highway', 'success or failure'. Let's say you're unhappy in your job. Black or White thinking could look like, "I hate my boss, so now I have to get a new job" or "I'm not enjoying this role, so I need to change careers". It leaves two possibilities, 'stay or go'.

This doesn't consider other potential options like finding a new role in the same organization - or doing the same role in a different organization. Or finding meaning outside of work. Or even talking to someone about the role and seeing if some of the unpleasant aspects can be delegated or somehow mitigated.

So, when you REMAIN stuck it's often because NEITHER of the options - in this case to 'stay or go' - is palatable. And when neither option is palatable - you choose neither - and remain stuck!

Now, Black or White thinking CAN be helpful. It can force us to make decisions when we've been dallying. It can help us to 'chunk up' and find clarity in complicated situations. But there is a cost. By 'chunking up' to simple 'either / or' options we lose essential nuances and details - and limit ourselves. Whereas details and 'shades of grey' give us a wide range of options and flexibility.

Questions to ask when you're stuck in Black or White thinking include:

• Suppose for a moment that you have all the money/ support/ time/ energy/ confidence/ health you need. What other options/ways are there of looking at this?
• Think of someone you truly respect and admire. How might they look differently at this situation?
• What other possibilities/explanations/ideas are there that you haven't thought of yet?
• Underneath it all, what is it that you really, really want?

Remember: Even when we stay still or remain 'stuck' it's still a choice - even if it's an unconscious one.